Top Ten Reasons You Know When Things Are Bad at West Ham

1. Javier Mascherano recalled from Liverpool
2. Eggert Magnusson replaces the Biscuit Tin with Factory rejects
3. Alan Curbishley says “three points are not enough”
4. Trevor Brooking prepares to save the club again
5. Roeder tells West Ham: “Come and get me”
6. Curbishley actually gives Mark Noble a game
7. Jimmy Walker replaces Robert Green in goal
8. Marlon Harewood can be arsed to head the ball
9. Nigel Quashie is dropped
10. Curbishley says to Konchesky: “I’m playing you on Saturday”