He Shoots, He Snores

This is from the Holy Moly Scandal Sheet. I merely pass it on for your dlectation, and, no doubt, comment. Those of a queasy disposition should look away now…

Little Jermain Defoe appears to be as reluctant at scoring in the bedroom as he is in the Premiership. He does, however, have two favourite sexual acts. The first involves lumping the balls forward as quickly as possible into the box region and probing frantically before shooting in a matter of seconds. The second is far more pleasant. He suckles and slobbers on his girlfriend’s milky bangers for hours, until he falls asleep like a little baby on £60,000 a week, with a contented grin spreading across his peaceful, smutty little chops.

Aww! Bless!

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2 Responses to He Shoots, He Snores

  1. mac says:

    Thanks for this titbit Iain. You’re obviously changed your choice of newspaper these days.

    What a enduring image this paints though. And how wonderful it must be to have your sexual inadequacies broadcast to one and all. Having said that I always did think he was a bit too excited around the box and would shoot too early. Much to the annoyance of his partners naturally…

  2. clash says:

    Any links to tevez’s 2 goals saving you from relegation?

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