Laugh? I Nearly Wet Myself

According to the Mirror, Celtic are to bid £4 million for Mark Noble. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha


53 Responses to Laugh? I Nearly Wet Myself

  1. vdm says:

    Probably rubbish – though Strachan was at Ciy game for some reason? However if you write down all the players who have played for us and Celtic you come up with a hell of a team!

  2. Robbie says:

    Much the same reaction I had – in fact I e-mailed the article to my son with almost as many ha ha ha’s. Now add a zero to the £4M and this would be a fairer price but does Strachan not realise that there is claret and blue blood running through young Mark’s veins!!!? Just shows how little some people in football actually know – amazing.

  3. Tony Freeman says:

    They can av the mighty christian daily for that. 🙂

  4. Hayden says:

    The funniest media speculation I have ever read…. There’s just nothing else to be said… Hilarious.

  5. Josh says:

    …hang on ill second that..hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ooohhh hang on hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahaahhaahahahahahhaahah

  6. colney says:

    maybe they should be looking in the mirror b4 they print such pants.

    put a 2 in front and then talk !!!

  7. Vinny says:

    NOBLE – I love the lad for being a Hammer through and through BUT . . . . . simply not good enough. Gives the ball away loads and people on here say he has ‘flair’ – ive not seen it once. Doesnt score enough either and his passing is shocking at times

  8. Nails says:

    So utterly ridiculous, infact it’s so of the wall that my reaction has been more of anger, the boy is as much about west ham than anyone else, and four million if these papers want us to at least partly believe the lies they publish then at least make the transfer fee realistic!!!

  9. Upton Spark says:

    The Mirror.The Sun,The Sport have all got one thing in common;
    THE’YRE ALL SH1T………….
    Nuff said.

  10. Plaistow54 says:

    Yes I agree Iain, but perhaps not enough Ha Ha’s. Mark Noble won’t go. He is a Canning Town boy. He is young & a player of the future. He is playing with some good players & he will learn well. If he stays with his home club, he will eventually get everything he wants from football. Sell Noble, you may as well sell The Tower Of London to the Scots.

  11. crazyhorse says:

    There seems to be no difference between a toilet roll and the daily miirror.Dont agree with saying Noble isn’t good enough Vinny we wouldn’t have beat fulham if it wasn’t for his contribution and in many games.

  12. Plaistow54 says:

    Oh. by the way. how was copper wire invented. Two Scotsmen found a penny at the same time.

  13. Brian Sains says:

    Iain, this story is nearly as funny as the prospect of David Cameron being PM !!!!

  14. Batman says:

    Vinny I agree with you mate! You are spot on! Just because he is a hammer and plays with his hear t on his sleeve does not mean he is any good. He is average to say the least. Where was he agaisnt Man City?

    But Iain always gives him high ratings!

  15. Dan Coendoz says:

    4 million?! Absolutely ridiculous!! Not sure I’d accept a bid for 14 million either…

  16. chris says:

    Has noble been watchin salano curl a ball in training?cause hes delivery has been great lately!Cant believe some people say sell him, i think hes got potential although he does seem slow to the 50 50 ball but maybe that will change with time,I must say though I’d love to see parker and dyer together in the middle if they ever stay fit!

  17. crazyhorse says:

    Dont agree with you either batman,I dont think noble is average,he is a young lad with a bright future,and i’m not saying that because he’s west ham,it’s because of what I and many fans see when he plays.Just because a player has a day where he don’t play so well doesn’t mean he’s doomed.I agree with you Chris,I too can’t believe some people are saying we should sell him,it astounds me

  18. West_Ham says:

    When Noble first started making appearances for our first team he showed more finesse than he does now, but he has worked hard at cementing the basics of his game and that came into fruition last season when he started to look like the next big thing from our Academy.

    To judge him based on current form is a bit unfair as he is not currently at his best and has only been back from injury for a few weeks.

    But I agree it’s a joke for us to accept £4m for him. It would be a cross over too for Noble from a flair club to a route one club. Other midfielders who have made the same move have not had sustained success at Celtic, i.e. Berkovic and Slater. The style of play is too different and…well too thugish and skill-less.

    I say keep Noble for many years and nurture him into the next England star. But keep him on our books this time.

  19. Jed says:

    i just read it a couple of seconds ago before i went on this website i laughed aswell what a load of coblers on your bike son to whoever wrote it. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

  20. WHU Kim says:

    I saw on a Celtic internet site that they thought this was cobblers as of course it is. I don’t think the Daily Mirror could have made themselves looked a bigger laughing stock if they tried.

    Mind you we have a few posters on here who are about as credible as a chocolcate fire screen when it comes to assessing Noble’s ability as a player. Take a look at the quality of his cross and free kick which lead to the goals against Manchester United and then come back on here and claim he’s average at best.

  21. Carlos Tabrez says:

    Completely agree VINNY and BATMAN! He is not good enough. You can wear your heart on your sleeve and have claret and blue in your veins but you can’t make up for lack of talent.

    He is slow, gives the ball away, doesn’t score enough and his crosses hit the first defender most of the time…everything you don’t want in a midfielder.

    Yes hes west ham through and through but so are all of us here- doesn’t mean we’re worth millions. He’d be more use in the stands.

    He should move for his career because he’l soon find himself out because of the strength of our midfield…and the club should try and get as much for him as they can.

    I think when it comes to hammers, current or ex, we tend to get a bit emotional rather than remain rationale (as demonstrated by the number of times Iain felt it was necessary to write “ha”)

  22. Carlos Tabrez says:

    ….in fact, JACK COLLISON looks more of a prospect in the few minutes I watched of him against ARSENAL.

  23. Haha brilliant. If there is any truth in this, I just hope Curbs tells Strachan where to go. Most likely that the papers are putting two and two together though – Celtic manager at the game, he must be trying to buy Mark Noble… obviously.

    I still wonder why he was there though. He must have been looking at someone, or else wouldn’t he have just watched the game on TV?

  24. Biffo the bear says:

    Whilst he’s still not the finished article, he’s definitely been working on his delivery. Great corner and free-kick against Man U. Absolutely no reason to sell him to anyone.

    My reaction to the story was shorter than the long list of haha’s.

    Must admit I’m sick of people slagging off our players, and wish it would stop, Mark Noble could get a game at any premier league club and he’s one of our own, how much better does he need to be?
    I’m sure he’d be the first to acknowledge that he’s got lot’s to learn but hopefully he’ll do it with us. it appears to be the norm that players move on in order to get better. let’s hope the boy can stay with us for his whole career, I know it doesn’t happen any more but there’s no reason why he shouldn’t.

  25. JackHammer says:

    I see some criticism of Noble above, give the lad a chance to mature and learn his trade, he is our best home grown talent since Joe Cole. The club would be mad to sell him at any price!

  26. Sirtrev says:

    To Vinny and Batman: please tell me you are having a laugh. if you can’t see the qualities that Noble has now and the potential he has for the future then I am lost for words. The lack of awareness about how hard it is for young english players to break into the premier league and the significance of what Noble has done so far considering his age is breathtaking. I know judgments are becoming ridiculously short term in football now and that some of the supoport at our own club is starting to become infected with the sort of short-termism that has caused chaos at Newcastle and elsewhere but this is going too far. In fact the more I write about this the more I am convinced you must be on a wind-up. You got me!

  27. rapidhammer says:

    Never ever possible to sell Nobes! He’s got to stick with West Ham and play in Europe with the Hammers, not with Celtic!

  28. Padrecoffey says:

    I might be on my own here but … I think £4m is good money for him. I’d take it.

  29. Brad says:

    if the story had something like 10-14million i would believe it but £4million?? 4 poxy million??!!??!! who we gonna buy with that? we dont need to sell and we definitely dont need to sell a local lad that is going to improve so much over the coming seasons… so lets put this into perspective we are owned by a billionaire.. and we are going to sell the player that has sold more shirts (name printed on the back) than any other player… FOR 4 MILLION??? And he is going to move to a second rate league at the age of 21?? the more you look at it the crazier it gets!!

  30. crazyhorse says:

    I agree with you sirtrev,noble is a great talent for our club and it amazes me how some people write him off because he has an offday.I bet them comments weren’t around when he worked hard to get the ball to Ferdinand at Fulham.Now that was determination and superb

  31. UTP says:

    You never know…you know…you really never know…

    and stop blaming your wetting yourself on the poor guy ok hehe…

  32. Carlos Tabrez says:

    Padrecoffey I don’t completely disagree with you….maybe anything £5 million or over then the club should seriously consider it.

    For those who are saying he can improve with us; realistically, he’d struggle to get on the bench let alone in our midfield if every one is fully fit. Is he better than DYER, LJUNDBERG, PARKER, FAUBERT, SOLANO….no. Then you got all the others…BOWYER, MULLINS, BOA MORTE, ETHERINGTON. He won’t get on the bench. Hows he going to improve? in the reserves? that’s why he should move on for his own career.

    Sirtrev; I’m sorry but I don’t know how you can describe NOBLES achievements as “breath taking” because he’s done nothing so far. I also do not believe that Vinny and Batmans views are “infected with short-termism”. The way I see it is if someone is not good enough you say it….no emotions or sentimental clap trap. I want us to be challenging for a champions league spot in two years and we won’t achieve that if we wait for people to learn how to play. He’s had long enough and he’s not good enough….that’s not short-termism but ambition.

    …and Biffo; I fail to believe that you really think NOBLE can get a game at any premier league club….come on, that’s going a bit too far. There’s no point getting sentimental about it. These are the same sentiments that called for an ex-hammer as manager and look what that got us…..when are we going to learn. We’ll never be up there with the big clubs if we continue like this.

    I just hope Iain does a re-post of all these comments in a season or two…..and by the way, ANTONS our best since JOE COLE.

  33. Carlos Tabrez says:

    Both WENGER and FERGUSON do this; they have a production line of young talent but when they see it is not good enough they move them on e.g BARDSLEY. But, when one of their youngsters is good enough and shows potential then they keep him e.g BENDTNER.

    These are choices that have to be made. If we are ambitious then we cannot afford to carry people.

  34. brooking is still the best says:

    I cant believe some on here are saying Noble is average or worse. He has plenty of talent. he tackles well, has added superb dead ball delivery, quick feet and always gives 100%
    Lets start getting behind and supporting everyone who wheres the claret and blue and stop being so quick in slagging players off when we lose. I expect that sort of thing from the spuds fans! We was once known for being the most loyal fans in the country!

  35. Biffo the bear says:

    ex hammer as manager got us the best defensive record outside the top four and no prospect of repeating the relegation fight we had last year. Too many people are negative about the club, I hear it all the time…’we’re not good enough, this players not good enough that players not good enough, we need to be challenging the top four…’
    yep, hear it all the time….from Spurs fans.
    Time to get behind the club, the players, and the manager.

  36. deanosleftpeg says:


    windup merchants.

  37. headmaster1 says:

    Keep Nobes – no question.
    lundberg / solano are class but past their best
    dyer is crocked
    faubert has played 45 minutes for us and yet Carlos has him ahead of Mark!
    Nobes any day ahead of boa morte / mullins

    no brainer guys. the ha ha ha ha’s have it for me

  38. crazyhorse says:

    ho dear tabrez,i guess u and batman n robin would rather have superman in place of noble.Take your blindfolds off ffs.and get real

  39. crazyhorse says:

    My god we are sounded like the plastics…whinge buckets

  40. Wavid says:

    This was a very funny story, but during the transfer window this is what we have come to expect, especially when managers are trying to keep their real plans or targets under their hat so they can get their man. But, I am very puzzled by the few negative comments about Mark Noble, his abilities and role in our team. I can only think that some people do not watch him play or have little or no knowledge of football. Noble is West Ham through and through and we really need someone like him in our squad – the passion and commitment from the last 10 games or so last season show how important this is when the going gets tough. But, as a young player and a developing talent Noble is excellent. If you expect players to commit 100% every weeke every game regardless of the oppostion then perhaps you should stick to FIFA 08 on Playstation! Noble’s game is developing and you can see how he is trying to improve the range of his game. Many of the fan sites are reflecting a similar attitude shown on here at times, which is one of we want success and we want it now. We want quality players and we want them to play excellent football every week. After avoiding the drop last season, we can’t attract such players until we have proven ourselves. But, players like Noble will fit into the team and he will learn from the quality, more experienced players and become a real talent himself. If some people can’t see that, well, as I said, there is always Playstation!

  41. trademark says:

    Why is that funny?

  42. Carlos Tabrez says:

    Yes let’s always compare everything to last season and avoiding relegation…that’s very ambitious! If we always compare ourselves to avoiding getting relegated then I guess we’ll be happpy with 17th every year right? We’ve certainly got the manager for that…ask Charlton Ath.

    Forget last year…look forward. No matter what, last year we had a mid-table team even though we just stayed up so why shouldn’t we look to finish higher than tenth this time? We’ve improved our squad have we not?

    Wavid…I doubt anyone is doubting NOBLES “commitment” as you said…. it’s just some of us think he’s not as good as others are making him out to be. Like I said above, you can wear your heart on your sleeve and have claret and blue in your veins but you can’t make up for lacking in talent. I think he’s average….I will love him to prove me wrong but I honestly believe that he won’t make it in our squad if most of the squad is fit. I also don’t think you should make remarks like “I can only think that some people do not watch him play or have little or no knowledge of football” because it’s unfair. Everyone is entitled to have their opinion on this subject…for all you know one of us bloggers can be a professional footballer or even a manager which would throw you argument about knowing little or nothing about football out of the window.

    …and crazyhorse, how about you contribute to the debate and back up your arguments with decent structured and intelligent points of view instead of making personal comments because no ones said anything personal to you.

  43. crazyhorse says:

    Do me a favour tebrez your contribution to this is ridiculous and im entitled to what i say,if you dont like it then its tough.My opinion is im tired like most fans of negative vibes handed out at good players who have one bad day and have to be shunted with dire opinions like yours.That constructive enough for you.Show some passion for your players and club instead of wearing blinkers…or have you forgot where we nearly ended up last year.Have i called you a name…no,but i have a genuine passion for our club,and im entitled to be a tad angry at comments …less constructive.I dont support noble because he’s west ham born,i support him because I see potential,and by what ive read on many boards you seem outnumbered,but hey you’re entitled to your opinion…and so am i.that sum it up

  44. crazyhorse says:

    I tell you what mr constructive tebrez,lets sack curbs,throw noble out and let you be the manager,afteral you seem to know everything there is to know about fooball.

  45. crazyhorse says:

    Heres why tebrez we should be grateful for where we are this year,and its sense im talking…1:injuries more than any other team in this league2:we are building into a club,which wont happen over night3:rome wasnt built in a day.patience is a virtue tebz

  46. crazyhorse says:

    Ye we have to get over last year but alot of damage was done and i think our team and curbs has done wonders to get thru all this.We didnt just nearly get relegated,we had the media and other clubs in the dogfight against us.I think we should all get behind our manager and team and raise the roof at our games whether home or away.Yes we pay money and expect performances,but we are not always going to get that,but lets show those cowsons who put us down what we and the claret and blue are made of.Our history is great,and its going to get better,so lets scoff our pie n mash,eat jellied eels(if u like them)and say c’mon u irons

  47. LEAVE HIM ALONE! says:

    Mark Noble is so good i’m reading through some of these comments with disgust! Absolutely ridiculous! What was all that rubbish about his crosses not beating the first man! Who honestly believes we could’ve beat man u without his pinpoint crosses? That’s three points he’s played a huge part in winning! And fulham… what dedication! Another three points he’s played a huge part in!

    He’s only 20 years old with bags of talent and he has loads of time to improve! I’m willing to bet he’ll be amazing when he’s 24 0r 25! After the fulham game he said himself that he wants to start scoring more but whats so bad about being provider all the time when we have strikers like cole and ashton to win headers! At corners when we have Upson and Ferdinand forward we need someone like him and Solano to put those important crosses in! Something tells me he’ll be here a lot longer than solano will. Solano is 33 and he is 20! Solano’s absolutely class but unless he goes on till he’s 40 like sheringham he’ll retire soon!

    Celtic can stuff there money where the sun don’t shine! NOBLE IS A TOP QUALITY TALENT! How many clubs can boast a great academy producing quality english talent like ours?? Hmmmm NONE! I’m sick of us selling on all our young talent, Joe Cole, Rio Ferdinand and Carrick to name but a few!! Curbishley my advice to you would be to hold on to players like Anton and Mark as hard as you can!!

  48. Jam says:

    4 Million thats pathetic hes worth 40million Best player in the premiership and soon to be the best player in the world move over Ronaldo, Nobles coming.

  49. LEAVE HIM ALONE! says:

    OH and crazyhorse i totally agree! It’s good to see some people feel the same way! There’s some bad fans around out there, i’m glad there’s still a lot of good ones too!

  50. Carlos Tabrez says:

    Crazyhorse; calm down dear, it’s only an opinion. Temper temper. You say “My opinion is im tired like most fans of negative vibes handed out at good players who have one bad day and have to be shunted with dire opinions like yours”…now that’s just hypocrisy of the highest degree. Do you actually read what you write? If not then go and look at what you have been saying and agreeing with about BOA MORTE and tell me if that doesn’t constitute “negative vibes”.

    Show passion for my know nothing about what I do or show for my club so I think you just leave that there. Having concern that a player is not good enough is that not showing passion for my club? I’m worried about the team; you’re just lost in NOBLE land….worried about one player.

    You don’t have to call people names to make personal remarks and insult them. You said: “ho dear tabrez,i guess u and batman n robin would rather have superman in place of noble.Take your blindfolds off ffs.and get real”….personal or not? Like I said, you should read what you write before you post it. In fact, write it, leave it for a while then when you’ve calmed down then you should come back read it again and then post. I said nothing of that nature to you. Silly me for expecting an apology…maybe sorry’s too big a word for you. I know you have some decency in you because your post at January 20, 2008 at 4:17 a.m had a totally different tone to it….maybe you had calmed down by then.

    You also say that your reading of various sites shows that I am out numbered in my view of NOBLE. I assume you are saying this makes your majority view correct? Well I’m afraid that a majority can be wrong….for example; the American president is? Exactly, the guy can’t put together a sentence but was elected president of “the world’s super power”.

    “I tell you what mr constructive tebrez,lets sack curbs,throw noble out and let you be the manager,afteral you seem to know everything there is to know about fooball.”…. Here you go off on one again. I didn’t say I knew every thing about football and you assume I feel that I do. Do you like making things up? Are you ALLISTAIR CAMPBELL in disguise? See when you sex things up you get people like “leave him alone” believing the rubbish.

    “Heres why tebrez we should be grateful for where we are this year,and its sense”…. Ahhh pure fiction crazyhorse! Did I say I was not grateful? But here you are telling stories again. I am grateful, that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be ambitious. This is my right as a fan who spends so much following his team. If we continue to think like that then we will get no where. I want to be in the top four but I do not think CURBISHLEY is a top four manager. You can give him a chance if you want….if you want to waste time in mid-table. You can agree or disagree with what NEWCASTLE have done with BIG SAM but you cannot disagree that their club will not be better off for it. I will support him and NOBLE….I have to support them otherwise I’m not a west ham fan. Thinking they’re not good enough doesn’t mean I don’t support them. You go into some dooms day mode thinking all I do is put down my club and the players and then you get people like “leave him alone” attacking me (I’m not even gonna bother with him/her). But have you seen my comments about ANTON, about BOA MORTE? Do I not support?

    ….make sure you come back on here and say I was right and when I am proved so; and if you are proved right then I will do the same.

  51. HammerMalta says:

    I totally agree with jack hammer give the lad a chance to proove himself,he is young but still shows character a skill at times.Even the top boys have their bad days .In Mark i can see a young Trevor Brooking develope.

  52. Jason nunn says:

    Noble is like a stick of rock, cut him open and hes west ham through and through.He will stay a hammer forever!!!!!!!!!!!!

  53. crazyhorse says:

    ho dear tabtez still trying to come on here and be sensible.dont be so daft and grow up you silly boy.You have the most ridiculous opinions that only warrant you has an attention seeker.I dont have a temper sunshine i just laugh at people like you who wouldnt know football if it hit you in the face.Guess you must have missed Nobles cool taken penalty against one of the best goalkeepers around.You should stick to netball mr tabrez

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