A Chant for the Phoney Pharoah of Fulham

Please tell me this is true. The Pandora column in the Indy reports this morning…

Chant heard coming from visiting West Ham supporters on the terraces at Mohammed Fayed’s Fulham on Saturday…

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
It’s a fugging conspiracy
Que sera sera


PS Apologies for the lack of blogging over the last few days.


23 Responses to A Chant for the Phoney Pharoah of Fulham

  1. west ham johnny says:

    iain i think the topic should be more about the other chant……. too f@cking negative

    i have backed curbs all the way and still do but i was there and it was a very negative move YET we still got 3 points so how do we react???

  2. Billy Jones says:

    can somebody post the lyrics to the lampard song, it was quality btu i couldnt understand it lol i think it was like ‘ten green bottles’ but done with how many people cant carry lampard….. funny shizz
    oh and ‘too fucking negative’ – ‘attack! attack’ and ive never heard the ludo song, wats that about??????

  3. Hinsdale Hammer says:

    I’ll take a workmanlike win. I’ve had too many years of watching the Hammers and hearing”we may have lost but we played entertaining football.” That has got really old.

  4. The Headmaster says:

    Yes, I found the too effing negative chant a tad embarrassing as it goes – even if i can see from whence it came! Ashton for Cole was never a good move, despite Cole’s inability to hit a barn door. Ashton does not suit 4-5-1 and would have benefitted from CCs decent link-up and hold-up play.
    My own personal fave chant on saturday had to be;
    John Pantsil (oh-oh)
    John Pantsil (oh-oh-oh-oh)
    He comes from Af-ree-ka
    He’s better than Kaka……..

  5. hammerboy says:

    I’m not sure what’s going on with Curbishley at the moment! He makes some really weird decisions and seems to give up on games that we can easily earn 3 points from! I wonder if confused.com can help!

  6. Gee says:

    Curbs does a professional job, its a result business and Curbs is a safe pair of hands.

    To think we only escaped relegation by the skin of our teeth last season, very very very very very very very very very very short memories.

    If we were playing entertaining football and in a relegation battle the very same people would be bitterly complaining about why we don’t scrap the less entertaining football and playing safe,

    After last season I’m looking forward to “boring” mid-table for the next few seasons.

  7. WHU Kim says:

    I don’t recall that one on Saturday Iain but we were chanting there’s only one Prince Phillip which I thought was very amusing!

  8. Lewis says:

    You react by giving the manager the respect he deserves. Prat.

  9. west ham johnny says:

    here lewis i hope u aint calling me a prat mate, i was just asking how do we react not in a bad way or anything like it, i love curbs and think he’s doing a good job but i did think he made a few negative moves like alot of supporters and was just wondering how people took it on saturday thats all so less of the prat. ITS EASY TO GIVE IT ON LINE

  10. Biffo the bear says:

    Ok, here’s the lampard song

    One man couldn’t carry, couldn’t carry lampard…
    One man and his fork lift truck
    Couldn’t carry Lampard

    Two men couldn’t carry, couldn’t carry Lampard
    etc. etc. all the way up to ten, swiftly followed by

    Big fat big fat frank
    Big fat big fat Frank
    Bug fat Frankie Lampard

    Also I did join in with

    Chelsea, wherever you may be
    You ain’t got no history
    Lampard’s fat
    Drogba’s queer
    You ain’t gonna win Fu*k all this year

    and I thought the rendition of the National Anthem hit the spot too
    along with
    Does your butler know you’re here?

    All in all I thought we did enough to shade the game, remembering Fulham are fighting for their lives and set up against us to make sure they were hard to break down, i reckon Julien ‘the bear’ Faubert needs to get a bit tighter to people a bit quicker but he looks like he’s getting better every time I see him, Carlton was very unlucky and worked his socks off again.

    Not the best game in the world but let’s all remember where we were this time last year?

    Agree with the headmaster about the Johnny Pants song


    the ludo song is….

    Myyyyy naaaame iiiiiiisss…..

    Ludo Miklosko
    I come from near Moscow,
    I play for the famous West Ham (West Ham)
    When i walk down the street
    All the people I meet


    Myyyyy Naaaaame Iiiiiissss….
    etc. etc.
    sang for around three hours in a pub next to Reading train station after they beat us 3-1 a couple of years ago people standing on tables jumping about, the works….the landlord who, before the game, was less than impressed with all these cockney herberts turning up in his boozer, at the end of the evening, with the local constabulary falling asleep on their vans (will these bastards never go home?) got on his own karaoke machine and swore blind we were the best people he’d ever had in there.

    Same song got me into all kinds of trouble with the misses as i couldn’t/wouldn’t stop singing it when I got home!

  11. Russell says:

    In response to Billy Jones post it goes;
    one man couldnt carry, couldnt carry lampard..one man and his fork lift truck, couldnt carry lampard – two men couldnt carry, couldnt carry lampard, one man, two man and his fork lift truck, couldnt carry lampard . . etc, etc. . . ten men, nine men, eight men, seven men, six men, five men, four men, three men, two men, one man and his forklift truck etc – I’ve heard it at every home and away game I’ve been too this season
    I was at the Fulham game too, dont recall the que sera sera chant but my favourite that day, after songs to northerners ‘does the social know you’re here’, in west london saturday was ‘does you’re butler know you’re here’ . . .classic!
    There was a paulo di canio chant as well from a large section, think this was a dig at curbs after paulo’s recent comments to the press about managing us..personally I think he’s done well with the injuries. And he’s a west ham boy despite all the years at charlton. I hope he can propell us next season to at least UEFA cup place.
    Anyon got any news on Bjorgulfors son, Thor, takin over the reins?

  12. Doc H Ball says:

    On the way into the ground, I was frisked by someone from MI6 and then a Mossad agent served me a poison pie. The game started boring and got worse, but none of this was down to Curb Your Enthusiasm, I noticed 74 Arabs with telescopic laser pens slowing the ball down.

    At half time, we cheered ourselves up with some offensive songs about Mo, most of which pertained to his inability to buy a passport. I know that the Hornchurch Mob are now serving a 35 year stretch in some Gulag underneath Harrods.

    On a more serious note, I came back East after the match and stopped for a pint or 3 to toast the ever important 40 points we’ve garned so far. To be mathamatically safe by February after last season’s trauma is a milestone we should all thank Curbs for. Next season is his acid test, not this one.

  13. Plaistow54 says:

    I was wondering where you was. Yes, nothing like a good conspiracy over a cuppa tea. Personally i’m still wondering if Jack the Ripper was one of the Royals but i think the crime scene has gone a trite cold, so probably never know now. Haven’t been following the court case, will watch the mini series. We got the three points at Craven, i reckon that’s all that’s important. Curbs persists with 4.5.1 & some don’t like it but when teams play that against you it’s hard to put two up front & play a man down in the middle when you are missing your best midfielders. I read on Newsnow that Gianfranco Nani the GM of Brescia looks like accepting the TD job for us. An Italian that knows Sth. America & would work well with Curbs. This is good & being the eternal optimist i could easily get a woody over next year as i still think we are headed in the right direction no matter where we finish this year.

  14. chris says:

    you think that game was bad!My inlaws are all spuds,f–king hell, I’m never gunna here the last of this!now thats bad.

  15. crazyhorse says:

    Safe this season,nearly heartache last season,injuries galore this season,yet we are safe…and yet people still f…..g whinge.Get a life and lets get behind curbs and the team ffs

  16. Stephen says:

    It was negative but at least Curbs has come out and stated they are trying to change it. Apparently they concentrate most on attacking in training. it’s refreshing he has spoken of their intentions we know they are trying to make us a bit more dynamic. Our work rate and defensive record is excellent. I agree with crazyhorse lets get behind curbs we have a really good base to work from.
    I must add I watched the Kids play palace on Saturday morning they are a really good team with a handful of excellent prospects who try to play the right way. Credit to Tony Carr. Freddie Sears god I pray he keeps improving he could be a real gem!

  17. supernumbersix says:

    Never been the biggest fan of Curbishley myself, but considering the injuries etc etc he’s done a good job. I’d rather win ugly until we can get players back that will allow us to play more of the dynamite football we were playing early in the season. I am very happy to have 40 points in the bag, very happy to be ahead of Spuds by 8 points and 7(?) behind Villa. Considering the nightmares I still have about most of last season, I am overjoyed to even be talking about a European place. Realistically? This season I would be happy finishing above Spuds. Next season however when we get Dyer, Bellamy, Parker, Zamora, Ashton match fit and firing with young freddie Sears, Collison et al knocking on the door of the first team, I would be expecting a bit more

  18. blue claret says:

    Best of the day: there’s only one Prince Philip followed by the national anthem.

  19. Johnnyhaynesregular says:

    Yes it was a crap game but, in the words of one our late Chairmen, “You lucky people!” A goal scored by elbow and not handball! Anton F clearly handballs a shot from Kamara (a shot from Kamara for fcuksake.. rarer than hen’s teeth!) and get away with it. Hope that bald bastard of a ref enjoyed the lift home on your coach.

  20. Kent says:

    I know that this is a minority opinion, but I’ll never be behind Curbs.

    Injuries happen to everyone, which is why one must sign depth and avoid the Scott Parkers of the world. These were CHOICES made by Curbs (and others), for which Curbs is responsible. Scanning prices and signing from last season, Curbs didn’t find any diamonds in the rough or any of the number of free transfers that have made an impact in the league; he didn’t sign any of the Africans that went to Pompey or anyone decent and young from South America (sorry Norberto) or Eastern Europe. No, he signed Frenchie–who may be worth it to be fair–and Parker and Dyer and Bellamy and you-get-the-idea. If Pompey and Blackburn and Man City and Bolton (last year) can churn out UEFA sides, there’s no excuse for a club this size to be stuck mid-table, even with the incredible competition of the league. And, all these signings a year after serious or repeated injuries remain an unknown. So, let’s not celebrate Bellamy for next season just yet!

    What’s more, the team plays a boring game.

    Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to be safe and not replicate last season. My point is that this club should seek results beyond “safety”: this club should be consistently good. And yes, I know that this is a minority opinion and some of you will be mad at reading this, but Curbs is not the man to take this club “over the hump.” He’s one to maintain the club at mediocrity, which may be fine for some. For me at least, celebrating keeping us up is an example of lack of confidence. West Ham should always be up.

  21. Upton Spark says:

    The Prince Phillip chant was quality!!

    My 12 year old son said”Who’s Prince Phillip Dad?”
    He then said,”Is he the geezer married to the queen?” QUALITY!!!

  22. richo says:

    Kent, you need to give Curbs a chance, if he had a fully fit squad and they were playing week in, week out and not performing then your comments would be warranted. Also how can you criticise the likes of Parker and Bellamy when they have been hampered by Injury. Europe is still a real possibility for us there’s still 12 games left and alot of those games are against clubs above us, were only 10 points from Everton and anything can happen. I don’t agree with your comment of playing boring i’ve watched most games this season and there hasn’t been many boring matches i can think of.

  23. Kent says:

    I criticize the likes of Parker (especially) and Bellamy because there were not good signings in their own rights and certainly not in comparison to other EPL teams’ signings. Parker’s decent but not THAT good and he’s “always” injured. So, why would I expect anything less or more of him. In any sport, I hold manager’s responsible for their squads. Injuries are just an excuse in a way. I say this because everyone has to deal with them and injuries are a perpetual excuse for future success. I just don’t see it.

    We always play tough vs. the Big Boys, and I give every Irons’ team credit for that. The manager? Yeah he gets credit too, but this is somewhat of a historic trait that seems to be repeated year-in and year-out. But this season’s success is largely based on good fortune and a lot of mediocrity at the bottom of the table (Newcastle, Bolton, Spurs [at the beginning], Fulham, Brum, Reading, Boro, Derby [horrible], Sunderland and Wigan. This team is not going to come close to the top four this year or next and, in its current structure, is not and will not be better than ManCity, Villa, Everton, Blackburn, or Pompey. We’re a good 10th and a good between, say, 9th and 12th is probably okay with some. Me? No happy with that, especially when I see immediate returns to success by the likes of ManCity and Villa or Everton and continued success and well-rounded clubs like Blackburn.

    I gave Curbs a chance, but you’re right Richo, I’m not any longer. I just see it differently than some and that’s fine. And you clearly disagree with me. I sure hope that we remain successful and push for Europe, but I don’t think that it’s going to happen. And, as the competition and money throughout the EPL grows, we better get our shit together. Everyone’s gunning for everyone. And, as teams solidify themselves to “stay up,” it increases the competition for everyone.

    As to the boring or not? Fair, you’ve likely seen more games than I have. For my money, the side has exciting games in the sense that they’re close and that they’ve pulled out (ManU) or lost out (Bolton) or kept (Pompey with Green’s save) points right up to the end–or had a bullshit (sorry, but it’s true) goal granted v. Fulham for three points–but they aren’t particularly inspiring to me. Do you see what I mean? Yes, it’s a results oriented sport, but many of their results are based on good fortune (have it this year, didn’t have it last year) and not on 90 or 80 or 75 minutes of quality futbol. (In my view, their best futbol seems to be played when Solano is in and pushing forward…and then the poor guy tires and the teams slows.)

    Either way, I wish them all the success in the world and same goes to everyone here. I just want Curbs replaced with someone better.

    Irons Forever.

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