Man Utd Player Performance Ratings

More than 250 of you gave your player ratings. Here are the results…

Valon Berahmi 8.11
Scott Parker 7.90
Matthew Upson 7.75
James Collins 7.72
Carlton Cole 7.40
Herita Ilunga 7.25
Jack Collison 7.18
Robert Green 7.17
Lucas Neill 7.08
Mark Noble 6.68
David di Michele 6.19
Savio Nsereko 5.78

I’ll be running this survey after every game now and them compiling aggregated results.


139 Responses to Man Utd Player Performance Ratings

  1. Savvyho says:

    I think Di Michele’s is a bit low, otherwise the rest look pretty good. Our midfield did not support the strikers enough which is why Di Michele kept coming deep.

    I think, of the midfielders, this advanced role and responsibility was Noble’s but he’s just no quick and decisive enough to get forward to support.

  2. Big Casino says:

    I don’t think Di Michele’s rating is low enough – he was awful. For every bit of skill of flick he does, he does about 10 things which are amateurish… he can’t even control a ball for christ’s sake. How he is even in our squad let alone the first eleven is beyond me.

    Thought Lucas Neill had one of his best games this season… He got forward as often as he could, provided much needed width when needed, and also had the job of marking Ronaldo (with a bit of help from Behrami)!.

    Thought Carlton Cole may have had his best game in a West Ham shirt. He really looked strong, quick and up for it.

    No surprise to see Behrami, Parker, Upson and Collins rated as our best 4 players. They’ve been the bedrock of everything we’ve done over the last couple of months and the Hammer of the Year award is definitely a fight between these 4 guys. All of them have been brilliant this season.


  3. SJ Chandos says:

    This is an interesting exercise.

    Di Michele has to come deep in situations where the opposition has a high percentage of possession. That is one of the reasons why the inter-play between him and Cole did not really happen. Where the midfield has more posession he is able to get forward more and improve the link up play.

    I must say that I tend to agree with Raymondo that Di Michele was not at races against Man Utd, in terms of successfully receiving balls and knock downs from Cole. His ability to lose posession in deeper positions is also a cause for concern.

    However, it is not surprising that this was the situation against the European champions. I think that Noble’s performance rating is too low (and I recognise that other contributors will disagree with me on this), because he played a key role in a very effective midfield unit.

    Other than that it seems like a good overall rating of player performance.

  4. Dutch Hammer says:

    Dont forget we played against ManU. To draw against them means all players outperformed. So dont be to harsh on players like Noble and Michele, and dont talk about a lack of offensive assistance by midfield. We did a tremandous job!

  5. mike says:

    Wow Iain you seem positively buzzing again about West Ham with all of your posts and your enthusiasm is evident for all to see
    Di Michele still gives away the ball too easily, Lucas neill whilst he did get forward is still too cumbersome and slow Savio was a disappointment he has a lot of settling in to do Scottie Parker and Valon B were awesome Scott’s tackling and commitment to the cause was off the scale he continues to be some player

  6. DevoDevo says:

    Not much that you can argue with there – some good judges on here.

    The Collins/Upson partnership appears to get stronger each week and is probably only behind Vidic/Rio & Jagielka/Lescott in the league.

    I trust that those that continually rubished Parker on here have seen the error of their ways, his drive and tackling are a joy to watch.

    Shame Bellamy chose to jump ship as I think we would be nailed on for 7th at worse with him in the side. No matter, things are looking up.

  7. richo says:

    what are you talking bout Dutch Hammer? we lost that game mate, everyone played well except Di Michele he didn’t play his role, we defended well but were to tentative in Man Uniteds half we need someone with better awareness supporting Cole, Neill was our most effective attacking player in the second half
    (bar Cole) although he probably should have been coverin’ Giggs for their goal.

  8. Roymondo says:

    I’ve mentioned before that, on average, I think people mark too high across the board. Once you start dishing out 8s and 9s there’s nowhere much to go when someone has an absolutely incredible game. Six should be a good average performance, 5 below the standard expected, 4 poor. Equally 7 is an above average performance, 8 exceptional, 9 brilliant and rare, 10, well hardly possible.
    I rated Upson, Collins, Behrami, Parker and Cole all above average (i.e. more than 6) for Sunday. The others 6 except Di Michele who I gave a generous 5 and Savio also 5 as it’s difficult to give more for a cameo performance.
    This is a good exercise though. Keep it up.

  9. Dutch Hammer says:

    RICHO, I know we lost the game: obviously, I miswrote that, sorry, I meant it was an equal battle, manU wasnt any better than us. I will try to improve my english…). I mean that if you score a 7 on average, you will win against Hull but loose against ManU. That’s what happened last sunday. We played a great match. It’s is justifiable to say Di Michele wasnt the best of our squad, but I dont think you can say he played a terrible game. I agree de Michele inst up for the level we have to play to win games like this one, but I think only Parker, Behrami, Upson and Collins were. Does that mean every other players were playing bad?

    you are talking about offense while I think Di Michele’s defensive support and pressing was really great. Don’t forget with the tactics Zola plays Cole has an important role in securing the ball in offense. As you may have noticed his role defensively is always in front of the ball. This obliges our other forward to do all the pressing and has to outwork Cole. Thats all,

  10. Tuckshop says:

    Moment of the game for me; CC holding off and going past Rio. Weak shot at the end of it, but if he can do that to Rio…….

    Not the game for Di Michele I’m afraid, we were too deep and he just doesn’t have the pace needed in that situation. I almost laughed when he tried to go round the outside of a defender down the left wing. He showed his strengths in the Hull game when he was picking up bits and pieces in and around the box.

  11. devodevo says:

    Roymondo – I pondered this when submitting marks, we all need to be working from the same criteria.

    Iain, would it be possible to publish each mark’s equivalent. Similar to Roy, I would suggest:

    10 – World class
    9 – Exceptional
    8 – Excellent
    7 – Good
    6 – Average
    5 – Below avearage
    4 – Poor
    3 – Disgraceful
    2 – Not fit to wear the shirt
    1 – Did he play?

  12. Iain Dale says:

    That’s a very good idea. I will add it to the instructions after the Middlesbrough game.

  13. IoDHammer says:

    Has there ever been a situation when a player could have got a 10?

  14. Dutch Hammer says:

    and also, compared to what:
    – his average level
    – WH level
    – PL level

  15. Roymondo says:

    In reply to Dutch Hammer: It should be compared to PL level as this is the league we are playing in. In other words, what we would expect from a player in this league.

  16. devodevo says:

    Thanks, Iain.

    IOD – Green at the Emirates 2007?

  17. savvyho says:

    had DiMichele tried to play like he did against Hull, our midfield would have been over run. i think his mark does not reflect the way he stuck to his differing role.

    we would have been drowned by a red wave on the counter had he tried to get more forward to get on the end of coles flicks. thats the problem we have when midfielders disappear from games

  18. SJ Chandos says:

    Tony Cascarino states that Zola/Clarke are the best option for Chelski …. That’s it then, nothing to worry about! He seems a nice bloke, but when was the last time he got anything right?

  19. SJ Chandos says:

    Yeah, I agree Tuckshop, this was not a game for Di Michele. His lack of pace was exposed, as was his worrying inability to retain possession. The midfield unit were having to work even harder to retrieve his sloppy play in deeper positions. The whole unit worked admirably against Man Utd, their work rate was magnificant.

    At the end of the day I admit that Di Michele is not particularly my cup of tea. However, whilst recognising his limitations, we need to get behind him and hope that he can replicate his Hull City performance against the teams of similar ability.

  20. South African Hammer says:

    Really exciting being a Hammers fan and the fact that Zola has said he is going nowhere, comes as a breath of fresh air!
    Just one point – I have not seen anyone mention the crazy slide tackle from Carlton and the ‘skip out of the way’ dance from Scotty before Giggs shot through all those players. My under 11 team would have been blasted for those attempted tackles – I suppose if Zola is the one working on our defensive tactics, then these things will happen!!!!
    My boy got a signed photo from Valon (the second one after Matty), so even the players are living up to the ‘old’ West Ham spirit!
    Special times ahead!

  21. devodevo says:

    SA Hammer – in response to the points you make, Cole should not have been the player to have closed down Giggs, but showed a lot of commitment to the team to have done so. The player who had the most right to be there was ambling out of defence, playing Giggs onside! Whilst Parker’s challenge wasn’t the greatest, again he was covering ground to get a block in and, quite understandably, thought Giggs would let fly with his left foot.

    Let’s not take anything away from Giggs scoring a good goal. Green may also have saved it if there hadn’t been so many players between him and Giggs.

    Had Noble not dallied with the ball the danger may have been averted. My own opinion is that the whole defence was slow in reacting (all staying central bar Cole)and it was this that enabled Giggs to have such a free run at goal.

    Frustrating, I know, but it’s hard to be too critical when that shot and a Ronaldo deflection of a Scholes mis-hit was all the “Greatest team in the world” could muster aginst our increasingly solid defence.

  22. SJ Chandos says:

    Yeah South African Hammer, the Giggs goal was a comedy of errors from our perspective, but in fairness it was our one major defensive lapse throughout the whole game.

    I watched it again on the Sky reply yesterday and we could have stopped it at all three phases of the move. Firstly, Noble got mugged on the left hand side (a Man U player fell on the ball to push it away from him and in to Schole’s path). Noble tried to play the ball out, when a punt up field would have been the better option. Secondly, the Cole sliding tackle, rather than Giggs pushing him wide, but that was a typical strikers challenge in a defensive position. Finally, Parker’s ‘skippy’ moment and the failure of, I think it was Neill or Berhami, to move out to challenge Giggs as he headed towards goal. It still needed a certain amount of good fortune to fly through the pack and beyond Green, but at the end of the day hats off to Giggs!

    Still, as you say better times are ahead. You can certainly expect Zola/Clarke to analyse the goal and get the players to learn from it. I am glad to hear that our players are being open and fulfilling their obligations towards young supporters. That is really good to hear.

  23. Goatygav says:

    All three of those, SJ Chandos, plus the Defence not moving up as a line (naming no names) to catch Giggs offside from Scholes’ ball over.

  24. SJ Chandos says:

    Good point about Neill DevoDevo, you are right about his failure to keep the line with Collins, Upson and co. I also think you are right about Cole’s show of commitment in attempting the tackle. But I thnk the only West Ham player that could have executed a clean tackle from that position was Billy Bonds in his midfield hay day lol.

  25. SJ Chandos says:

    yeah Goatygav, lets hope they learn from it, particularly Lucas Neill.

  26. IoDHammer says:

    devodevo, you are absolutely correct with Green, absolutely stunning, i remember the MOTD idiots just luaghing at how rediculous Arsenal’s chances were and how great he was.

    Any other suggestions to 10 point performances?

    Lately it’s been such a team effort it’s difficult to single anyone out in particular.

  27. Goatygav says:

    DiCanio vs Wimbledon 2000 (Yikes – was that really all those years ago?)

  28. chris says:

    Seems most dont rate noble,I do thou.
    You cant have everyone in midfield who dashes around doing everything at the same pace ,hes different hes slower but more composed on the ball hes heads up all the time, maybe he should build hes hamstrings up,that would give him an extra burst of pace.
    As for Neil I dont care that he gets forward well,I would rather he’s stronger point was defending.

  29. IoDHammer says:

    haha just got in trouble at work for youtubing di-canio, sweet goal against chelsea too! id have given that a 10!

  30. James says:

    Shame about Noble’s rating,

    He might not have distributed the ball very well during the match,


    He did steal the ball off Berba, Tevez and Ronaldo repeatedly so for that I feel he deserves better!!

  31. Frankie D says:

    The system is good but I think to mark subs for less than 20-30 minutes is unfair. Iain would it be better to leave subs out of it if they play less than 20-30 minutes?

  32. Goatygav says:

    I reckon one or two people have been disproportionate with Noble’s rating (ie. Given him 0 out of 10) which has brought down his overall average. Maybe there should be something in the software that scrutinizes any scores that are massively out of kilter with all the others.

  33. devodevo says:

    chris – I like Noble as well, but his form hasn’t been great of late.

    With regards Neill getting forward, it is imperative for us to get both full backs running past the midfield because of the way we are set up. It was evident against Manyoo that we didn’t use the ovelap enough. In fact, when Neill did get forward he tended to cut in as well!

    If only we had Johnson back. I read on the official website that Spence can also play there – what about giving him a run?

  34. Iain Dale says:

    Gavin Thurston, I just checked that. One person gave him a 1 and one person gave him a 3. Otherwise every score was 5 or above.

  35. Goatygav says:

    Cheers Iain – Would be good if the software could do it without you having to check.

  36. chris says:

    Devo point taken.I know we play 4 centre mids with fullbacks giving us our width, but sorry I just dont rate neill as a defender nearly 70% of problems come from that side,next season our priority should be a rightback,or can kovac play there?

  37. IoDHammer says:

    Imagine if we had a right back we trusted and made us relaxed in games the way Parker or Behrami do in mid field. And a magical striker of Di-Canio’s caliber who you can be confident of scoring every game, other then that i can’t think of any improvement on our squad. Good times!

  38. Savvyho says:

    Whilst you make a good point Goatygav about scrutinizing any scores that are too high or low, I do not think we should take that right away from someone who wants to vote that way.

    If there are enough votes anyway, then a vote extremely low or extremely high, will be insignificant overall.

    For example, if ninety nine people voted 8/10, and one voted 0/10, overall, the score will still be 7.92/10 (instead of 8/10) so the effect is quite insignificant.

    Plus, we mustn’t forget that some people will do the opposite and vote too high. In fact there’s probably more people that vote too high as oppose to too low, so that would more than counter it.

    But I hope Iain doesn’t implement a system like that, as I think anyone should be able to vote 0 if they want or 10 if they want otherwise the poll would be a bit fixed and unrepresentative.

    The fact that Iain has already put something in place which does not allow one person to vote twice, I think is protection enough.

  39. Savvyho says:

    By the way Iain, how many gave 10s or 9s? That would be interesting to see.

  40. devodevo says:

    chris – I’m no fan of Neill, either, hence my suggestion of Spence.

    Anyone who put 1 or 3 down for Noble is a clown and should be banned from voting in the future.

    I know the difference maybe minimal savvyho, but the intent is pathetic.

  41. redkipper says:

    I can not think anyone who has actualy watched a live match in the past two years could rate Neill or LBM; neither are premiere class.

    At the begining of the season Cole was not premier class but he has become so with much help from Zola.

    I’ve seen no such improvment from Neill or LBM, so I guess we’ll have to carry them untill the end of this season. At this time the clubs future should become clear i.e. Tevez appeal clarified as well as new ownership confirmed. So its hold tight and hope for the best in the meantime; at least we can enjoy watching some reall WH footbal due to Zola & Clarke unlike when Curbs & Day were in charge. COYI’s

  42. Savvyho says:

    Thing is devodevo, the 10s and 9s are just as bad! But I suppose they’re entitled to so we must respect that.

  43. the headmaster says:

    Devo – good photo mate. Mind you, you do look a bit over 21 in it.
    I too like your suggestion of a rating scale but would profer the following;
    10 – outstanding / world class
    9 excellent
    8 very good
    7 good
    Just strikes me that the leap from good to excellent is a biggy on your scale and then the interpretation of excellent / world class etc could be quite subjective?
    Just a thought…

  44. devodevo says:

    The sepia didn’t scan too well, head, plus \i’ve had a tough life supporting West ham for so many years. 🙂

    Savvyho – I agree that’s why I suggested a definitive criteria.

    Point taken, Headmaster – I just made the suggestion for our good blogger to interpret how he sees fit.

  45. onechristiandailly says:

    Good idea to have the voting. I may be in a small minority, but I thought Neill had one of his better games. Di Michele was disappointing – we needed someone who could run into the channels and pull their defence out of position to allow Cole to isolate one of their centre-backs. The problem with Di Michele is that he lacks pace and needs a lot of the ball – he’s not a forward that can feed off scraps.

  46. hammer4eva says:

    I feel Lucas Neil did’nt have as good of a game as them rating suggest. I think Behrami done i better job keeping Golden Boy Quite that Neil did.A 5.5 for Neil

  47. Tony Titan says:

    IOD – To answer if anyone ever got a 10 – I would say DiCanio but only everytime he walked out onto the pitch in a West Ham shirt !

  48. brooking is still the best says:

    Nice one Iain, great idea. never took part this time round rating the players, to busy at work this week but they seem about right. C.O.Y.I.

  49. devodevo says:

    Yes, great idea, Iain or whoever suggested it. 😉

  50. the headmaster says:

    Agree with Devo that anyone who sticks down a zero for basically any player’s performance is not really thinking straight – even LBM at his worst doesn’t register that low!
    In Savvyho’s illustration above, I take issue with him as it goes. Why should one plank alter the scoring of 99 sensible people? Surely in this case, a mathematician would favour the mode rather than the mean?
    When all is said and done, I would urge fellow bloggers to think very carefully indeed if they are contemplating a score for a professional footballer of less than 3.

  51. Savvyho says:

    the headmaster, I’m not sure why you take issue with me….may be you meant with what I suggested?

    Anyway, I am simply saying that people have the right to vote what they want….we cannot deny them that right otherwise there’s no point of voting because it will not be a true representation or democratic.

    My other point was, that if enough people vote (as in this case) the effect will not be significant. Iain said more than 250 people voted and just two voted below 3….it’s insignificant.

  52. Goatygav says:

    Mode average not Median would make sense. This would mean that people with blinkered views of players wouldn’t have as much influence. Giving your preferred player a 10 just because you like him, irrespective of the performance that he’s put in for that match, would be as narrow minded as putting down a 1 for a player who you don’t like.

  53. the headmaster says:

    Was there ever a statement by Zola or the club on the Chelski speculation? Anyone able to post a link?

  54. Goatygav says:

    Would also make more sense than the Mean average too.

  55. Goatygav says:

    I think I read someone say that it’s going to be posted tomorrow headmaster.

    Zola’s been quoted by a few rags including the following but it’s more of an interview than an official statement: –

  56. the headmaster says:

    Cheers GG. At least the media appeared to have shut up about Zola being the favourite now, not to mention the bookies who (allegedly) rarely get it wrong

  57. Roymondo says:

    The only justification for a 2 or 3 would be a player who had an absolute stinker, showed total lack of effort and then got stupidly sent off before half time.

  58. Wavid says:

    What a great idea about the player ratings and the comments, on the whole are a facinating digest of the game. I think some posters and voters need to realise we played probably the best team in the world and made them look ordinary – only two shots on goal! World class teams will score, even with one shot at goal and that is tghe difference as we had opportunities to win the match. I would like to remind posters that Henry when he first came to play in the Premiership did not do very well in his first season. I say give layers some time. Zola is definately building a solid team that are confident to play attractive football. They train more with the ball and are more confident in possession, consequently they will lose the ball against world class players, unlike against Hull. I think Di Michele looked out of sorts because others in the team are not reading the game in the same way as him. Cole needs to improve his off ball movement for example but showed some good signs in this department on Sunday. I thought they are played very well and to hold Man U for all but a crazy 30 secs is excellent work. As with Savio, Zola said he is only 19 and we should all give him time. Enough said on that I think. But I mus say if you are going to vote at least try to give a decent score, by submitting either 0 or 10 is plain daft. Either that or you need to learn far more about football. It was a very good team performance on Sunday and Neil was given the job of marking Ronaldo!

  59. Eddie Chappers says:

    I think everyone puts forward very valid points about all the players, especially DiMichele but at the same time people must bear in mind that Noble was out at the end of last season with a reccuring Hamstring problem that kept him out of the U-21s team over the summer, it is possible that he is working on building this back up slowly??

  60. Roshi says:

    I think the points thing is good fun, but my concern is, we all show our contempt for the boo boys at the matches getting on a players back, but it would appear that some of our posters could move this form of abuse from the terrace to the internet.
    Secondly, we often get rogue posters on here who could actually ruin the chart.
    I think we must be mindful of the fact that this has become on of the most respected club blogs (thanks to the very able blogging skills of our leader) and as such it is likely that players and officials of West Ham will be looking in (in fact, I think there is a player who regularly posts here)so picking on, or being over critical can ultimately damage team moral. Maybe a little bit over the top I know, but worth a thought.

  61. Eddie Chappers says:

    Very valid point Roshi and definitely worth serious thought.

  62. IoDHammer says:

    Who is this player who regularly blogs here! Show yourself! lol

  63. IoDHammer says:

    Posts even, not blogs!

  64. Roshi says:

    Said “I think”

  65. Stephen says:

    Just been on the club website. We have signed a young irish forward who the Spuds released because their medical staff thought his knee was done. Apparently our medical staff have helped sort out his knee and he has just signed a 3 year contract. Interesting!

  66. djclipz says:

    hmmm another blow to sears chances… I guess his time is limited

  67. SJ Chandos says:

    Savvyho, I have just seen your comments on another blog about people having their heads up their back sides! You really are a very rude and disrespectful individual who represents the very worst elements amongst the club’s fan base.

    You need to be told that, but it is my final communication with you, because you just are not worth another minute of my time!

  68. Roshi says:

    Don’t sit on the fence Chandos, tell him what you really think!

  69. james hagley says:

    Can’t believe we got Terry Dixon!! I wasn’t aware that he left the spuds but I remember his name was floating about up there with the Campbells and the Sears at one point. Should be very interesting, especially if he does fullfill his promise, how pee’d off would the spuds be!!!

  70. E1 says:

    SJ Chandos: He’s not a very nice person (savvyho) best ignored.

  71. WHTID says:

    hi Iain (and everybody else here!)

    just found out our beloved hammers have signed a ireland under 21’s striker terry dixon on a 3 yr deal. he was on the yids books but they let him go last year with a knee problem, as usual our brilliand medical staff and treatment team sorted it out. hope he will be good for us (fingers crossed!!!).

    and duxburys little dig at spuds is quit good….

    Hammers chief executive Scott Duxbury said: “This signing is a testament to our medical and technical departments for all the work they have put in to get Terry to this point. We know that Tottenham felt they had reached the end of the road with Terry but we are hopeful he can yet prove himself and build a successful career.


  72. devodevo says:

    Stephen – just done some reading on him.

    Appears that he was a very highly rated youth player who made the Irish full squad at 16.

    Likened in physique & skill to Rooney!!

    If he comes off this could be seen as another masterstroke by the present set up. They are certainly looking to youth in their purchases/loans.

  73. IoDHammer says:

    It’s very unfortunate to have such a major knee problem so early on. Who would have funded his 2 months of surgury? I read somewhere recently that Zola had bought over some phisios from Italy who had worked wonders with some big name play i don’t remember who recovered form a potentially career ending knee injury. Basically we have vastly improved out backroom fitness and physio staff i think! Correct me if im wrong lol

    Why are people arguing more often on this blog?

  74. SJ Chandos says:

    Apologies to other contributors about the nature of my last post, but some people and behaviours are just beyond the pale! Contributors on here should observe certain minimum standards of mutual respect and not engage in crude abuse.

    Yes, I think that you are right E1 (I noticed that you were the other contributor insulted). I will take your advice and move on to other more important, interesting and significant matters!

  75. E1 says:

    Their is a nice artical in the newham recorder by carrick on west ham ,you can pick it up on news now worth a read.

  76. Roshi says:

    I think you are right Chandos, banter is great, but rudeness is not acceptable.

  77. Stephen says:

    DevoDevo wouldn’t it be nice if he turned out a real gem and his injuries were a thing of the past! That would be a real “up yours” to spurs and there back room staff

  78. Goatygav says:

    No apology needed SJ Chandos. You’ve conducted yourself admirably. I applaud you for your dignity and restraint whilst politely pointing out the rudeness of others.

    I applaud you chap.



  79. E1 says:

    looks like cole is to start tonight and upson could start with rio? an all west ham ex west ham team would be nice to see at some stage. I don’t think it will be much ao a game but spain are well up for it as european champions the presure is on them, don’t you think

  80. thegeneralmuz says:

    i hate to say it but most of you on here dont know wot you are talkin about!typical west ham fans who have never played football in their,upson,ilunga,parker,behrami world class..collins,noble,collison,cole good..neill and di michele…sorry to say it shit!wake up and smell th roses,enough said.’the general’

  81. Roshi says:

    My point about the points chart and idiots posting on here is highlighted by the idiot above

  82. thegeneralmuz says:

    roshi f..k off pr..k!

  83. Roshi says:

    No response

  84. E1 says:

    ThegeneralMUG another to be ignored must be a mate of savvyho

  85. E1 says:

    sorry did i say mug i ment muz thinking out load anyway best ignored.

  86. chris says:

    General mug,another depressed spurs fan.

  87. devodevo says:

    It’s not the school holidays already, is it?

  88. james says:

    gerneral mugs mum really should put a child gate on the computer room. i mean he could bag his head on the desk or fall off the chair even. must just be upset we bagged one of their biggest academy prospects, awww bless his little cotton socks.

  89. james says:

    1-0 can we get green, upson and cole on now please.

  90. Chaps, has there been any conversation about how we qualify to vote?

    I was going to say that ‘this is just a bit of fun, so it doesn’t matter who votes’ but the heat of this thread suggests otherwise.

    So, what are people’s views on how we qualify to vote? Should it just be match attenders?
    Should it just be people with access to live coverage on TV?
    Should people who listen to a 5Live commentary be able to vote?

  91. the headmaster says:

    Devo I can definitely verify that it is not yet the school holidays!
    This blog is superior in my view precisely because of the rarity with which the dckhead brigade appear. Fortunately it is rare enough to actually be quite shocking when one does slip through. I accord with those who advocate a non response approach to such ill considered contributions.
    Cole on second half do we think? I truly hope Greenie comes on. He most definitely deserves it, especially with James proving once again his fallibility in the first half.

  92. colney says:

    upson dropped to the bench and then that crap,james is past it and how can he be englands no1 letting in all those goals at portsmouth every week?

  93. Roshi says:

    Footballs rubbish and the band even worse. Bring on the Hammers and shoot the band leader.

  94. the headmaster says:

    Harsh Roshi. The boys in the studio must be watching a different game to me. Apparently we’ve been pulled oall over the pitch and given a footballing lesson!/?

  95. Goatygav says:

    Fellas – Teddy S has got it right. A lesson in football. Every time they’ve come forward they look like they’re going to score.

    As West Ham fans I’m sure you can appreciate just how good Spain’s Touch, Movement and Passing just is. It’s something to behold. The goal was a bit special too.

    I think CC could upset them. Jagielka is a good defender but our Matty Upson’s the best Centre Back in the country at the moment.

    Out of all of them I’d be happiest for Greeno if he gets on.

    Roshi – I don’t mind the band so much but someone tell ’em to get a new bleedin’ song!!!!!


  96. Goatygav says:

    Teddy S got it right about Greeno too. Must be a West Ham fan.

  97. Goatygav says:


    Did Beckham do something today?

  98. the headmaster says:

    I must have my rose coloured England specs on then. Drives me nuts when we wax lyrical about every other team on the planet and run our own down. Go Hammers…..

  99. james says:

    Green, Upson on but no Cole……yet

  100. Goatygav says:

    Don’t get me wrong – I think we’ve done ok. Let’s face it – we’re seriously under strength. They are just about the best around at the moment.

    At least they’ve now been bolstered by the fantastic West Ham pair.

    I reckon they’ll have less joy this half.

  101. Goatygav says:

    It’s a very valid point Graybo. Perhaps we would discriminate against the blind if we were to only allow those watching images of the game?

  102. the headmaster says:

    Not sure Cole will get on. Young for SWP I reckon.

  103. Goatygav says:

    Think you’re right headmaster. Can you see Capello replacing Crouch, who he’s just brought on, or playing Cole, too similar, alongside him?

  104. Goatygav says:

    CC warming up!!! C’Mon Fabio – give him a run out!!!

  105. Goatygav says:

    Well – Guess I have to eat my words.


  106. the headmaster says:

    I can hardly believe my eyes. CC in an England shirt!

  107. Goatygav says:

    Unlucky CC. Great effort mate!!!

  108. onechristiandailly says:

    Good touch – so unlucky. That would have made my decade

  109. Roshi says:

    CC nearly a hero, hard luck

  110. ooh, not a bad effort by our boys. We showed some urgency towards the end there, which was encouraging. Could have just folded.

    Can’t deny that the opposition were class apart with their pace, power, movement, understanding. We were very much a makeshift team in the making.

    Re the little ‘domestic’, ignore the trolls — it’s always the best policy.

  111. … I missed joining in during the game… the missus had the laptop cos I had the telly 😦

  112. Goatygav says:

    Graybo – have you got two seperate computers that you post comments on? I only ask because sometimes you appear as Graybo, sometimes as Graybomeister and somethimes as Grayboguestmeister. You are one and the same aren’t you chap?

  113. the headmaster says:

    did you catch the olas graybo?

  114. Headmaster… no, missed it.

    Goatygav… I’ve been setting up a couple of things on WordPress and made a couple of schoolboy errors early on.

    My split personality is now sorted, though, and I opted for graybomeister – grayboguestmeister seemed a trifle unfair on others replying to my posts.

    And, yes, I do have two separate computers from which I post.

  115. Savvyho says:

    SJ Chandos,

    I am glad that was your final communication with me as you do tend to go on a bit…don’t know if anyone’s ever told you.

    I did not say “people” had there heads up their own backside, I said YOU did. Now if you had an ounce of decency, you would have made that clear but of course, this was not your intention, you simply wanted people to get behind you with a lie and wanted them to say well done Chandos because Chandos loves nothing more than for someone to tell him he is right.

    “Crude abuse” and “mutual respect”? You just lied about me out of your teeth to try and fool others to back you up….you disgusting human being.

    This is quite clearly demonstrated by you later coming on and seeming to apologise and trying to play the victim: “Apologies to other contributors about the nature of my last post”…nice trick! You’re not a politician by the way are you?

    But don’t worry, I am sure you can explain yourself quite clearly when I see you at the Middlesbrough game.

  116. the headmaster says:

    The relevant paragraph went as follows, Graybo;

    ‘Lots of offerings on the web this week on this subject, including some quite amusing attempts to put it to music and verse. My own fave, lifted from Mr Iain Dale’s legendary blog site ‘West Ham til I die’ goes to the gentleman with the unusual tag ‘Greyboguesmeister’ who suggests that we sing, to the tune of what we will all know as ‘Just one Cornetto’:

    Just one Gianfranco
    Zola for me
    He’s got more talent
    In his right knee
    Than all of Tottenham’s
    Entire front 3
    Just one Gianfranco from Eetarly

    Amusing, but can’t see it catching on! ‘

    There ya go – fame at last!

  117. Goatygav says:

    Ahhhh. That explains a lot. I used to post from two seperate PC’s as well. Not that it matters as Iain gave the other name away earlier on in this blog. I’ll forgive hime though.

  118. Oooh, thank you very much, Headmaster…

    Will I regret not adding © Copyright 2009 tag-line when we get it to No. 1 in FA Cup final week? 😉

  119. Goatygav says:

    Me neither headmaster – I tried to get it going at the Hull game.

    Can’t wait for the ‘Borough this weekend. I can taste the excitement of the quarter finals as I sit here now!!!!

  120. Goatygav… here’s the funny thing (and this is probably a great relief to everyone)… I added a mugshot but so far it has resolutely refused to appear on any of my posts. Must be something to do with the way I’ve set things up, but I’m not that bothered.

    Possibly just as well, since there’s only room for one Brad Pitt lookalike on this blog and Headmaster is fulfilling that role admirably.

    Re my discrimination against blind people submitting ratings for players, did anyone else catch that piece on MOTD2 about the commentary provided for blind supporters at the Emirates. Interesting piece, and the bit I really liked was the fact that they have actually provided a special dog loo for the guide dogs at the stadium.

    Funnily enough I used to provide sports news to a local talking newspaper for the blind, in the Rochford area of Essex.

    And so… to bed. G’Night, John Boy… etc etc

  121. the headmaster says:

    Yea, it’s funny you know but I kinda worry about the Boro game. Barnsley were expected to be more difficult than it proved, Hartlepool was a nailed on banana skin, hence the TV cameras. Boro is the game we are expected to win with them on a disastrous run but allegedly not playing too badly. Football being football, I certainly don’t expect this one to be a gimmee.
    The dream of seeing us at Wembley, which of course happens in the semis these days, is almost touchable though, eh?

  122. the headmaster says:

    In my experience graybo most of the bogs at the boleyn ground are fit only for guide dogs!
    Night – Brad

  123. Goatygav says:

    Yes I did see that. It was great to hear how the blind chap in the programme absolutely loved watching live games.

    I agree. Who knows what the cup will bring. I just love it when we get to the last eight though. Get to the end of that one and, as you say, we’re at Wembley.

    Don’t know if you were of the same beleif but I thought we were going to be one of the first finalists of the cup at the new Wembley like we were in 1923?

  124. Goatygav says:

    ‘night Jim Bob!

  125. Yes, I had that same feeling about us getting to the first final at the new Wembley. 😦

    I bought tickets for the Bon Jovi concert which was supposed to be the first gig at the new stadium. Gutted when it was shifted up the M1 to Milton Keynes (nothing against Milton Keynes, by the way, just not the same).

    Re this season’s cup run (we can call it that now), each round this season I have expected to be turned over, and as the HeadMeister says, now we’re expecting to be Boro… something doesn’t quite feel right.

  126. richo says:

    Gotta say i’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading some of the verbal jousting above, with the exception of ‘thegeneralmuz’ who had to resort to profanity (obviously a lack of intelligence, to go with his egomania) had a good laugh reading some of them.
    Regarding the Boro cup game, sure we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves but come on people keep the faith and stay confident, with the form were in I reckon we’ll be there come the business end and hopefully I can recover from the devastation of ’06

  127. graybomeister says:

    Many thanks for the pep talk, Richo… am now back on message with the positive outlook under the new regime.

    I think last night’s brief appearance and his involvement through the week with the England set-up can only do good for CC. Whisper it, but could we see a hat-trick soon? 😮

  128. richo says:

    Yeah i read bout the England game earlier good to see our boys got a run, read that CC looked good in his brief appearance, i watched quite possibly the worst game of football in my life last night (Aus vs Japan WC Qualifier)

  129. graybomeister says:

    Ah, now, worst games ever… there’s a topic for a new blog by the blogMeister Iain.

  130. chris says:

    Unlucky carlton could of had 2 goals!!!

  131. Roymondo says:

    The last thing we want on this blog is a slanging match. Hopefully the General geezer has exhausted his limited flow of words and departed back to whatever hole he came out of.
    SJ Chandos – don’t get upset about Savvy-whats-his-name. Make sure you keep posting as your contributions are excellent.
    On a general (sorry) point, opinions are like a***holes – we’ve all got one and we all just need to accept that opinions are just that and slating someone off doesn’t make your’s right or their’s wrong.

  132. Dujon says:

    Lol the aussies only had 2 days preparation as a team for that match i’ve read. So Japan being on top (at home) isnt THAT surprising.

    Hopefully Carlton can net 1, 2 or 3 against boro as he hasn’t scored in 2 games

  133. SJ Chandos says:

    Thanks GoatyGav, you are a gent.

    Raymondo, thank you for the generous comment, I can assure you that I will continue to contribute to the blog. Who cares what one offensive and deeply unpleasant individual has to say. It’s water off a duck’s back to me!

  134. SJ Chandos says:


  135. thegeneralmuz says:

    well good evening gents!nice to see that plenty of you took the bait..i did take exception to being labelled an idiot by your frind roshi after leaving a truthful if not a tad brutal post about the currant team.anyway being a west ham fan for the past 30years travelling up and down country week in week out i feel that i am more than qualified to have an opinion on our great team,i am still slightly perplexed as to wonder about some of your goodselves as you seem to be more interested to be posting polite chit chat than the truth.anyway roshi, chandos,roymondo,richo or anybody else that would like to continue this conversation on a face to face basis i would be more than welcome to see you at the game on saturday,i will be having pie and mash and a couple of pints before the game and then in the east stand during.kind regards.’thegeneral’.xxxx

  136. Savvyho says:

    Well said thegeneralmuz

  137. IoDHammer says:

    Where can you get a good pie and mash near the game? Cheers

  138. thegeneralmuz says:

    two good pie and mash choices,(1) opposite tube and (2)turn left at boleyn go about 100yards get there ealy or face big queues,personal fav opp station but smaller so get there early

  139. IodHammer says:

    Cheers general!

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